L'ultima settimana e l'inizio di qualcosa nuova...--The last week and the beginning of something new ...

I knew the last full week of my mission would have to be a little crazy...if it wasn't, it wouldn't be mine, but I never expected the nonsense and miracles of what this week has been. Last week, right after finishing our emails, we stood up and realized Sorella's bag was stolen. Yes. stolen. After a frantic search and a few urgent phone calls, we realized the only thing to do was go to the police. They told us it was close. I think they unintentionally lied (maps are never to scale). Or we just got lost because the robber also stole our map (maybe he was lost too). Anyway, we ended up walking for an hour and a half. When we reached the police station they sent us away because Sorella did not have any id and needed to get her passport to then be able to declare anything. So we walked back to the metro and headed to our appointment. Ilaria and Dimitri were wonderful gems and after a great discussion about perseverance, we all had dinner together, and my was it yummy. The next morning we had to hurry to the police station with Sorella's passport and do the forms before zone conference. We were fortunate to have a very handsome young man in uniform help us out and we made it just in time to zone conference to do a little practicing for our musical number. Anziano Taggart and I sang "O Holy Night" with Sorella brown on the piano and Sorella Lyman with her violin. It was fantastic! I sang part of it in Italian! We did birthdays and Sorella brown went up and since mine is coming up, I got to go up as well. We all get to say nice things about the birthday people. Anziano Taggart said the only phrase that came to mind about me was "practically perfect in every way". I nearly died. It is becoming wide spread knowledge that I am secretly Mary Poppins, or at least in the Barbieri/Xhunga family. I was able to also do my "final testimony" and needless to say I cried. I think that was the first time it really hit me I am going home. I don't remember really what I said but I know I meant it. I know I talked about not being perfect, but trying to always keep going and give of myself and doing it for the Lord, the reason I served in the first place. Anziano Andersen thanked me afterward for my testimony and said he was really touched. I called and thanked him afterward. I don't think he will ever know how much what he said meant to me. Friday we had a miracle because a sweet old man on the other side of Milan found Sorella's cards and her little notebook with the mission address in it. He had his granddaughter read it and the got in contact with the office. She wrote Sorella a little note and we were able to pick them up. It was a little Christmas miracle. We have no idea how all those things ended up together. What sweet people! We had lunch on Saturday with Carlota and Jessi. I love them both so much. They have a lot of spunk and Jessi wants to study music. I hope we could help Carlota. She has been inactive for a while, but her kids are so strong. They are so special. On Sunday, we 4 missionaries sang "O little town of Bethlehem for church and then the ward gave us boxes of junk food. It was ridiculous. We did some ricerca and found a great potential young man, Miguel, who is very interested in the Book of Mormon. Exciting! Christmas eve we ate lunch with Gaia and Giovanna and had handmade spinach pasta in a salmon cream sauce and lamb and they gave us tartufi and then that night we had a great time with Henry and Jessica and their family, including Henry's awesome nephew, Paolo, who is one of the strongest teenagers I have ever met, spiritually speaking. I will miss them a lot. Afterward we met all of the other missionaries at the duomo and sang Christmas songs and hymns on the steps before going to midnight mass. A very strange man sort of danced in front of us and gave a couple sisters presents and another gave us all roses. The man who spoke for midnight mass was actually quite good, though we did not stay the whole time and then when we left we the anziani we all took the right tram in the wrong direction and ended up on the other side of Milan when all of the buses stopped running. We walked a while wondering what would be best to do, and since I wasn't sure either, I sang Christmas carols into the night and kept laughing it was so ridiculous. I find I always need to be right in the middle of an adventure. Our options were to walk all the way home or call a taxi, or wake up dear Henry who said he would come get us if need be. We called and he immediately hopped in the car to rescue us. I kept singing to pass the time. He said he had been awake because he felt like there was something else he still needed to do. He is a saint. truly. Christmas morning, in our extreme tiredness, we awoke and went to the church to watch Brave with the other sisters and drink homemade butter-beer. We had a great time. After skyping home that afternoon, which was wonderful, except for the moment when my brother said I will see you this weekend and I stopped breathing, we headed to Lydia's house and she fed us sticky cake from the Philippines that tasted kind of like frosting, and some of the most delicious soup I have ever had. We helped her play general conference on her computer and as the youth choir started singing, Lydia started to cry and sing along, though she couldn't remember all the words in English. she held my arm and I just felt the love of God. I think that moment made Christmas for me. It was beautiful. I will miss moments like that, just feeling the spirit with someone, soaking in the love of God when no words are necessary. That is the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of Christ, and a big part of the "why" we do what we do. I love this work so much. I hope it never really ends. Tonight I will say farewell to my dear Barbieri/Xhunga family, who always shares their love with me and are a big part of why I am here. Dylan will be baptized next month and I am so excited for him. He is like my little brother and we have an Xbox chat appointment on my birthday because his is the day after mine. Tomorrow we will be working hard and Friday I head to the mission office for my final interview and Saturday I take to the air. It is unbelievable. This has been the most beautiful experience I could ever ask for and serving the Lord is truly the best thing I have ever done. I know it is his work. I know he loves his children and I know we have to help them see it and especially feel it, because it is real and living and changes hearts, changes us for the better. It changed me, changes me every day. I can feel it.I have borne witness of that in front of so many and even though not every one did, the moment someone understood, the look on their face when they truly felt that truth, is worth every struggle, every challenge, and it is that that helped me overcome any doubt in myself or what he could make of me, at least for a little while, because I could see it and feel it for one other of his children. It is like magic. It is better than Disney. You can feel it. I feel it. It is real. It is truth.  I am just so grateful. it is so much greater than anything I could've imagined. I feel so small sometimes, I just hope my almost, my little bit, was what He needed it to be, that he will make it more, make it strong. He changed me for the better and I hope I can continue to help him help others do the same. There is no greater blessing or greater joy. I just want to send you all my love and a temporary "ci vediamo" until we see each other again. Lots of love.

Quasi natale...

Well, my dears, I am now sitting in the most comfortable internet point I have ever been in, in a big brown comfy chair, wondering why I didn't know it existed before. It is a dream. I think I didn't realize until today how much I miss having a sofa. I feel like I have had an incredible week and emotions are really running high for many reasons. I don't like thinking about my mission as coming to an end. It is too painful to think that way, so generally I just ignore it and keep working. Part of me really can't believe it. I feel like this is my life, it is what I am used to, and it gives me purpose. I am glad I still have more than a week of it. Last week we had a really great blitz with the other sisters. I was with Sorella Gomez and we taught a cute Peruvian girl who is so excited to get baptized, and then a beautiful little family from Napoli and ate the pastiera napoletana. The young dad played his guitar and sang, "Fratello Sole e Sorella Luna" by San Francesco d'Assisi. It was a true delight. Friday evening we had a concert in Bergamo. It was amazing. There were very few people because there was a lot of snow, but it was a wonderful time. Sorella Padula and Sorella Harward both sang, as did I, Sorella Lyman played the violin, and Presidente Pezzoli of the branch there played his guitar and harmonica and sang a song by Donovan, "catch the wind". I was in heaven. I nearly cried I love that song. Presidente Pezzoli said they would have moved the concert but because they knew I was going home, they wanted me there. I really felt loved. I sang "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" and he said it was the second time I had made him cry. I really love and respect that man. We stayed over night in Bergamo and had a blast together eating soup and chatting . I love the sisters here. Saturday we came home and that night and our ward Christmas party which was very focused on the real meaning of Christmas. It was beautiful and the kids made me laugh. They were all symbols of Christmas. It was hysterical, but also very spiritually uplifting.  They gave us all of the leftover cookies panettone, and hot chocolate so thick it is like drinking fondue. We finally taught our referral, Chantal. She showed up to the church for the Christmas party and then  again on Tuesday to meet with us. She was early and got a whole lesson about genealogy from our wonderful local experts and then we taught her the restoration. She had already read all of first Nephi and some of the guide in the back as well as the book of Enos, which she had just opened to by chance. That was a miracle because I used Enos in the lesson. She is just so beautiful and so ready for all of this. I am so excited for her! We have just had some great lessons lately and are constantly striving to have the spirit. Dylan is still getting ready for his baptism and we are all very excited for him. The work here might be slower right now, but it is still going so well and we see miracles every single day. I don't really know what to say other than that. I am recognizing more and more daily how much I need to rely on the Lord because of my imperfections, yet how much he loves me for trying. I hope it is enough. I guess it is. I know in my heart of hearts that he knows me and knows I am doing all I can and that in the end, he will make it enough. I just hope I can remember that and enjoy everything else. this place is magical, the mission is magical, and the people here just mean so much to me. It is the best thing I have ever done and I will never forget it. There is so much feeling, so much joy I just can't express it. It is kind of like Christmas, surprising, spiritual, peaceful, chaotic, and unexpectedly wonderful and ever full of magic. I don't want the spirit to ever end. I want to feel how I feel and be who he has made me and I hope I can. I just want to send all my love to you all and wish you a wonderful Christmas, remembering always what it is really about, because that is where the magic truly lies. 

love,

Sorella Lloyd

Krishtlindja (Christmas in Albanian)

So friends and family another week has gone by here in bustling Milano and what a busy delight it has been. Last week we had a marvelous time traveling the world at the fiera and trying delicious food from all over Italy and all over the world. We entered the part by great Britain and someone started playing the bagpipes. I literally ran through the crowd to find it. I wanted to cry it was so beautiful. I want to live there. We went all over Italy and ate olives, sauces, sweets, cheeses, meats,and breads and saw scores of wonderful things. That night the Capece's were here visiting and I felt like I was seeing family again. Thursday Sorella Padula called and said we would be doing another concert in Bergamo this Friday so Sorella brown and I are preparing a few things and I translated "over the rainbow" into Italian, so I am very excited. It even rhymes. Friday we went to visit Gaia and her mom and they surprised me, though I had already guessed, with a visit from Sorella Modugno! She gave me a necklace she bought her first transfer in Florence that is shaped like the fiordaliso, the symbol of Firenze. I love her. It snowed that afternoon and we took lots of pictures. It didn't stay long, but it put us in a Christmasy mood. During our scambio Sorella taught Breeda in Milano 3, who I had taught my one week there a year ago. she is from Ireland and she said that I was like St. Patrick because I feel Ireland "calling to me" as Sorella Brown said she put it. Monday we went to the lovely como for a great zone training meeting and learned a lot and enjoyed being together. We taught the Barbieri/Xhunga family and Gazzy's mom is here from Albania and though she speaks no Italian is sweet as can be and the whole family was so happy to have her. I tried to learn a few things to say in Albanian, but as of now am still unsuccessful. I just adore that family. Today we met the other sisters and went to see The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. It was Amazing. I am not exaggerating in the least. I got chills the moment we walked into the room. It was captivating. I am not surprised it is famous. The lighting painted from the windows behind their faces was so clear and everything was beautiful. I love Italy. There is a tree now by the duomo and the whole city is decked in lights. We are very happy because miraculously Beny came to church on Sunday and is reading and making progress, and Dylan will be baptized January fifth. Miracles are happening here even if at times it seems like nothing is going right. I cried for a while the other night. I am so glad I have a wonderful companion who could just let me cry and then helped me out. It is hard for me at times to rely fully on the Lord. I either think I can do something myself or think there is no way I could do it even with His help, but neither thought is true. I have to have faith in Him and in me and be humble enough to recognize that it is okay that I need Him. Life was meant to be that way. I am profoundly grateful today that I don't have to do it alone, that he loves me despite of all of my failings, and that He has and will continue to make me who He wants me to be and give me chances to be an instrument for good. I am glad it doesn't end here. Because I will miss this special work and this beautiful place. I really feel at home here and I am glad that neither the work, nor the relationships I have with the people I love here must end. We can all continue in the work of the Lord, the work of loving and lifting his children. Lots of love,

Sorella Lloyd

Offerte e talenti--Offers and Talent

Ciao cari miei! Yet another week that has flown by in a flurry and I can hardly remember any of it. Here I am sitting at the internet point wanting to share everything that happened, and I realize I left my planner at home. Sad day. I take notes in that blessed little thing. I feel lost without it. I think my brain has been working too much lately. It is on overdrive and the memory is failing. Anyway, it has been a lovely week. It is tremendously cold at times, but at least the sun is out. Last week we had some fun at the mall where Sorella bought some lovely boots. Thursday she had an asthma attack and was suffering from some exhaustion so we were ordered back to the doctor the next day, but all is well. Friday we saw Jessica and her daughter Helen. We taught principles from the young women theme and talked about how they help us endure and become like our father in heaven. It was lovely. We taught Giovanna on Saturday and we brought the gospel art book. She showed the pictures to Signora Marzo and when they got to the end Signora Marzo said, "chi sono questi vecchietti?" "Who are all these old men?" Giovanna was rolling on the floor with laughter and as we all regained the ability to talk without laughing we explained they were prophets. Even the Signora was laughing. It really brightened up the place. who knew pictures of "old men" could do that? We taught Lin Jiamu, the adorable Chinese girl we met at the questura. She flat out told us she did not believe in God and didn't really care, but we told her she was a daughter of God and she said "and I just don't know it?" and I said "Yes!" She said she would read the Book of Mormon and pray even though it is something she has never done before. It was AWESOME. Sunday I was translating during sacrament meeting and fllo Scolletta brought up his daughter and said he brought her because "mi serve" which means "she serves me" like "I need to use her". I, humorously said something mildly stupid because I couldn't think of an English equivalent and said she is helpful or useful in a phrase that likely wasn't English. An American member that speaks Italian turned around and kind of chuckled. Sometimes I am brilliant. We finally saw this cute inactive girl, Alice. I hope we were able to bring the spirit and that she could feel the love of God. I think that is what she needed. I hope she comes Sunday. We met a referral, Chantal, who is beautiful and amazing and we are so excited to teach her. We taught the gospel to Rosa, Sabrina, e Katy and Katy is so excited to get baptized when she turns eight. She keeps saying how she is the only one left to do it. She is very bright. They gave me some temporary boots to use until I can find some new ones, since my others broke and nearly caused me to fall into traffic and break various parts of my body. At least I can walk in safety now. Today we are going to a fair with booths and artisan works and food from every region in Italia and various parts of the world. I am so excited! Monday in district meeting I had been asked to give the spiritual thought so I sang the song, "God bless your way" by Hilary Weeks and talked about offering all we can offer. I have been thinking about that a lot lately because sometimes I feel like all I have to offer is very meager, like I haven't done or given enough, but then I think of a talk by Bruce C. Hafen called "The Atonement: All for All" and I remember he talks about how we must give our all because that is what is required, but that even when we give our all, it is never enough, it is always, by itself, just an almost, until it is finished by him who is the finisher of our faith. It is only then that our imperfect, but consecrated almost is enough. And I know that is true. My companion compares it to the man with two talents in the bible, at the end, he didn't even have as many talents as the first man did in the beginning, but he still gave his all, he still grew, and he gains the same prize. I don't have to be a perfect missionary. I don't even have to be as good as the ones I  know, but I need to to what I can. I hope I have. I know that He will make my all that is only an almost in the great scheme of things, enough. And I am incredibly grateful for that. Because it matters an awful lot to me. Remember He loves you and will help you if you seek him. 

con affetto,

Sorella Lloyd

Una nuova visione--A new vision

Disse la pioggia un dì..."non smetterò mai! " It is raining. A lot. We woke up to the rumbling sounds of an Italian diluvio or flood as I suddenly recall we say in English. I love the rain. I love my striped umbrella. I love singing. I love serving the Lord. I love all of these things together. Which is happening continuously the past few days. Quindi, sono contentissima. Last Friday we went to the doctor. Sorella Brown was finally feeling better but we chatted for a while with this 60 something American doctor in a blue and white striped shirt and bow tie. It was like an old movie. He prescribed Robitussin and hot water with vix vapor rub in it so the menthol steam could be breathed in. I love traditional remedies. He was funny. Sometimes. We went and saw Giovanna and the cute old lady she works for again and I sang, "Misty" for them. I think my companion thought I was crazy, but Signora Marzo certainly brightened up and Giovanna is as awesome as ever. I hope she can get baptized soon. She just still has to work on Sundays because Signora Marzo needs her. We keep praying. We had a good lesson with Dylan's family, but then he and his mom got into an argument and we had to sort of bring back the spirit. We were really sad when he wasn't at church because we thought he was still upset about the day before, but then we found out he was sick and though that is sad, we felt better knowing he had still wanted to come. Sunday we had thanksgiving dinner with the Friloux and Criscione families and they invited two other families they are friends with. It was good food and a beautiful time. One of the other families was Italian and they were so excited to have their first American thanksgiving. They have been to the states and love America and speak terrific English. Cristina, the wife, was really enthusiastic and really touched by our lesson. We talked about how god loves us and the gratitude we can show to him for what we have and we all took turns saying what we were grateful for and the spirit was really there. It was beautiful. While waiting to pick up Sorella Brown's permesso we met a cute girl from Cina  who only spoke English. She doesn't believe in God but is curious about Christianity and after a good chat we got her number and hope to see her this week. We met two charismatic vacuum salesman from Napoli while doing casa. It was funny because we were ringing bells and they were just coming out from knocking doors in the same palazzo. They were really funny and we had a great conversation until they decided to talk again about vacuums. One of them gave me his number with the promise we could talk more about them, maybe over dinner. It was almost sweet. Until he joked I'd have to pay. I am so glad I am a missionary. We had a great lesson with Franca Zocchi and her family and helped her cute daughter Giulia with a little English and then we had a chat with Cristina yesterday because she was a little discouraged after finally talking to the bishop. But all is well, because she wants to start over with her no smoking program and do all she can to quit and she said she wants to talk to Dylan so he will go ahead and get baptized anyway, even if he can't do it with her. I know that isn't easy for either of them, but I know they will see so many blessings for it. We were not expecting her to say that, but I am grateful. I think Dylan really needs it, especially now, while he feels ready. My companion and I have been talking a lot about repentance and relying on the Lord and seeing ourselves as god sees us and I just want to leave you all with something she said that really summed it up for me and helped me out a lot. She said, "Seeing yourself how God sees you. That's true repentance." And it is. Repentance changes our desires and our vision of God, the world, who we are, and who we were meant to become. That is why that daily commitment to be better helps us so much. My invite to all of you is to try it out. to use repentance as a tool to see yourself as you really are, as God created you, and be happy in that knowledge and in the changes you are making. 

Con affetto,

Sorella Chandra Lloyd

Ringraziamento--Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! "The pilgrims are here for Thanksgiving. They're thankful for what they have now. They're looking for a nice juicy turkey. Oh please help me find them a cow. Bring back, bring back, oh bring back a steak to me to me. Bring back, bring back, oh bring back a steak to me!" (to be sung to the tune of My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean) The word "pilgrims" can be substituted for "missionaries" in the case that missionaries and not pilgrims are present at your holiday feasting. Thank you elementary school for memories such as this little ditty. Alas, my companion and I will not be having turkey or steak today, but we are nonetheless very grateful for all that we have  and for the chance to be out of the house doing missionary work again! We spent most of the week inside nursing Sorella Brown's cough and our crazy cabin fever. Because she has asthma we were advised to stay inside by Sorella Wolfgramm. Mild insanity ensued after hours of study. I feel my brain has expanded and I have been enlightened by many things, but also slightly overwhelmed by them. I am reading Jesus the Christ in Italian and I must say even my vocabulary has grown substantially, though I was slightly upset at the many typos in the text, and I am every more amazed and grateful for the knowledge we have of the life of Christ. Thursday we taught Laura, a blind member in our ward, who is super sweet and has a lovely dog named Luna, Friday we taught Carlota and her two wonderful kids who just arrived here from Brazil. Her daughter is a returned missionary and both of the kids play the guitar wonderfully well. She was rather discouraged because of some serious apartment and legal problems they have been having so I hope we were able to help. After that, Friday evening we were ordered to stay home because of Sorella's painful coughing and we did not leave until Monday morning to buy some things we needed and then were ordered again inside, not to see the light of day until yesterday when we had training and interviews with president. I made oodles of Swedish butter cookies and chocolate shadows during our captivity and read a lot as I contemplated counting the days on the wall. I felt like I was in limbo for a couple days. We had no planners and my watch died so until yesterday I really wasn't sure what day it was. I was beginning to sympathize with the count of Monte Cristo. Per fortuna, we are missionaries and the lord has given us uplifting books and music to  help us grow and not perish for the want of sunlight. We were filled with the light that comes from Gospel study, the light of the Son. I really did learn a lot and God answered a lot of my questions. And then yesterday during training we talked about being pure in heart and I am even more grateful for all that I am learning, for the chance to be a missionary, to dedicate all I am to Him and to help his children feel his love and see his light. I feel more grateful this thanksgiving than I have in a long while and I know that it is because I have the opportunity to give, to really show what it means to be grateful to god by sharing what I have, my incredible blessings that only come from the gospel, with his children. My testimony has grown and so has my heart. Just do what you can with a grateful heart. Thanks for all of you back home and thanks to all my friends and family here in Italy and especially thanks to my God and my Savior Jesus Christ for saving me every day of my life and for giving me a chance to do the best thing I have ever done and helping me see the love they have for me and for all of the children of God. I love you all!

Sorella Lloyd

24 Salute all them that have the rule over you, and all the saints. They of Italy salute you. (Hebrews 13:24)

La pioggia è continua e ancora sorridiamo--The rain continued and still smiled

What a week we have had! It has been a little slower than usual because Sorella was sick and now has a rather strong cold, but it has been a very good week. We went all the way to a little city called Abbiategrasso to teach Sala and her friend Alice and we were able to set baptismal dates with both of them! We saw Maira, the nonmember daughter in law of Estella with Maira's very inactive returned missionary husband, Jesus. It was a great lesson. Jesus had to participate a lot to translate for her when she did not understand and I hope it reawakened something in him as well. She agreed to read the Book of Mormon and is very sweet, very ready to learn and listen to the Spirit. I am really excited to teach them again. We had a great lesson with Jessica and Helen about persevering with patience and hope and it seemed to be exactly what they needed. Jessica really opened up to us about what she wants in life and how she is trying to act in faith. It was beautiful. Geraldine had us over and we were able to teach her and her friend\roommate, Emily. Emily has to have surgery in about a week and we were able to share the spirit with her. We gave her a Book of Mormon. She is catholic and very faithful, and I hope that she will read so she can feel that same spirit we felt together. I know it will help her. Geraldine had made us these fried spring roll type things that were filled with banana and covered in sugar syrup, which were quite good, though a bit much for me. Sorella was missing American things, so we made homemade hamburgers (I made the patties myself) and they were yummy. we even cut and fried french fries, and though I didn't eat them, I tried one, and they tasted right. We were proud of us. We tried a new gelateria called Bacio sottozero and I had a granita of almond and pistachio. It was heavenly. And they were playing jazz music, so I did not want to leave. Beny, who is crazy, but sweet, made us a very yummy dinner of some sort of meat sauce with corn and onions and peppers and tomato which we ate over boiled juca and plantain. It was yummy and very new to me. We also had her play some good church music on you-tube while we were there, which was nice. We had a great steak conference this weekend, lunch with the Lauriolas, cleaned on Monday, bought some stuff for Sorella's cold and I invented a homemade honey lemon spice tea that was DELICIOUS. And we can't get enough of a new camomile tea we discovered. Delightful! Last night we saw the Barbieri/Xhunga family and got the whole family involved again to help Cristina so that she and Dylan can get baptized next month. Dylan is so ready and Cristina will be too. She is just scared and needs to remember she is not alone. Transfers are this week and we will have a few transfers in the zone, but we are fortunate because we get to stay together and work to the end. I know this next transfer we will see a lot of miracles and I am so excited for the people we have. I just want to remind you all that even when we are disappointed we have not overcome certain challenges or because we haven't improved fast enough, or we aren't where we think we should be, our Heavenly Father is not disappointed in us if we keep going, keep trying, keep doing. He expects us to have these delays in progression, normal frustrations, and weaknesses, it is the only way he can strengthen us  and make us who he needs us to be for the people he needs us to help in that particular moment. My companion taught me that this week. I was a bit disappointed because I thought I should be much better at all this by now, and she said that if I was anything but what I am now, it wouldn't be right for the city, for the people, or for her as a companion. It turns out, even my weaknesses, are exactly what she and everyone else needs right now. It sometimes is hard to imagine that or imagine that God still loves us anyway, even when we know we could do better, but he does and he is always there, shaping us and helping us as long as we persevere. That gives me a lot of hope. Smile friends. God is good and life is beautiful. I am an optimist and that gives me a lot of strength because I know it will all work out right in the end thanks to the love and mercy of our Heavenly Father.